5 Questions to Ask Your Child About Their Day by Miss Nicky
As parents, we love to hear all about our child’s experiences at school. “How was your day?” may seem like an easy question to answer, however parents often report feeling frustrated with the lack of information from their child on the events of their school life.
As adults, we know that we want to evaluate our child’s day with them so that we can know and understand their daily school life. Young children however, especially those still developing their vocabulary and skills of conversation, may struggle to sift through all of the experiences to provide relevant information, leaving you with an answer like “Fine” or “Good”.
The following questions will help to break down particular aspects of the day, guiding your child through their experiences and giving them the opportunity to share their day with you in a more detailed and valuable way.
“It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question.“
– by Eugene Ionesco
1. What was the best part of your day?
Encouraging your child to think of what went well supports them in identifying instances of joy and success, increasing the levels of dopamine in their brains and making them feel happy. By focusing on the best part of the day, you’re helping your child train their brain to seek the positives, enhancing their capacity for gratitude and boosting their overall mood.
2. What was the worst part of your day?
Whilst being grateful for what went well is an important starting point, discussing the negatives is also a valuable practice. While this might be something out of your child’s control, e.g. swimming was cancelled, it also might be something more complex that they don’t know how to explain without guidance. By focusing on what your child didn’t like or struggled with, you open the door for them to reflect and evaluate on how or why it happened, problem solve if necessary, and move on from the experience with your support.
3. What happened that made you laugh today?
This question helps you to experience the intricacies of your child’s social world, giving you a glimpse of their friends, their conversations and what they find funny. This becomes more valuable as our children get older, when their daily life is less tightly bound to ours than when they were small. There’s no better feeling than seeing your child smile, so give yourself the gift of this question and enjoy the opportunity to share the laughs together.
4. What mistakes did you make?
In previous generations, mistakes used to be seen as bad things, however we now know that mistakes are the very occurrences that help us to develop and evolve in our efforts. When reflected on and learnt from, they can provide huge opportunities for both academic and personal growth. Perhaps your child made an error with their work, or said something they shouldn’t have to a friend. Whatever size or seriousness of the mistake, supporting your child to unpick why it happened helps them to evaluate their actions, take ownership of the aspects in their control, and hopefully emerge on the other side with a solution or learning opportunity.
5. Did anyone help you with anything today? Who did you help?
As parents, we’re as interested in our child’s social development as we are their academic achievements, and this question shows you how your child relates to their peers on an interpersonal level. Discussing instances where somebody helped them with a task or problem enables your child to identify people who support them. Talking about how they also support others encourages them to look outside of themselves, and consider their role in a community. Even small acts of kindness can make the difference between a good or a bad day, and identifying these gives your child the opportunity to acknowledge them, and perhaps spread a little more joy the next day.
“Children are likely to live up to what you believe of them.“
– by Lady Bird Johnson
